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How to Be a Couch PotatoBy Taylor Willis


This is for those who think they are too cool to have a job, too lazy to get off the couch all but once a day (unless you have to use the facilities), and love watching television for 14+ hours a day, just to get up again the next morning and do it all over again.J
1. Prepare yourself for a long day of potatoing by getting all the necessary food products you should need. As well as getting the perfect beverage of your choice. Alcohol is permitted if over the age of 21.
2. Find a spot on your couch that has not already sank to the floor that will be great for sitting.
3. Put the remote in a handy spot, easily accessible, to minimize stretching and possible straining.
4. Enjoy sitting and doing nothing for hours upon hours, and consuming food that will definatly clog your arteries.
5. After not being able to stare at the television any longer, carefully brush the missed pieces of food off the couch and it makes a quite comfortable bed for sleeping. You also have a head start on tomorrow.J7.jpg

Warning: Couch potatoness can lead to extreme obesity and stupidity.


1. PJ’s are the ideal attire for participating in couch potatoing.

2. Showering is not permitted.

3. Always remember to get up to use the bathroom at least three times a day.

4. Mooching off of friends and relatives is allowed.